Lasting Impression

[Amber White]

This piece is all about faith, rememberance, and inner tranquility. Although the topic is solemn, please don't hesitate to provide constructive feedback.

[Barry Lane]

Amber,
This piece of writing touched me deeply. It is a subject that is close to my heart since I lost my mom last April and had the opportunity to take care of her in her last weeks on the planet. I know exactly what you meant when you said it felt so natural. I made a movie of my mom's last words. She came out of a coma on night near the end and spoke with my daughter Jessie. Here is it is.

[Barry Lane]

Oh, I forgot to offer a critique.

I feel the piece is very strong, but more a vignette. I wonder if you have interest of exploring this subject more in a longer piece. Perhaps its about the reverberations of your moms death in your life, or in the life of your siblings. It's really up to you. You could also write an essay on death and use this piece as a moving final section. It all depends on your vision.

[Amber White]

Barry Lane said:

Amber,
This piece of writing touched me deeply. It is a subject that is close to my heart since I lost my mom last April and had the opportunity to take care of her in her last weeks on the planet. I know exactly what you meant when you said it felt so natural. I made a movie of my mom's last words. She came out of a coma on night near the end and spoke with my daughter Jessie. Here is it is.

Barry,
Thank you for sharing the video of your mother with me. As I sit here watching this, I can't help but think how proud your mom must have been knowing the tiny soul she raised and cared for turned out to be such a compassionate, inspiring individual...and in that, all a mother could want...peace.

How wonderful that both you and your daughter were able to be there with her and hear her powerful words of wisdom...important to be a free thinker...this gave me chills and reminded me of moments of clarity my mom had near the end.